a few days back, i sat alone and suddenly it hit me that i still havent accomplished anything huge in my life and thats sad. its true though. i always stay in my comfort zone without realising that the time is passing by. i never imagine what it is like to grow up, to have your own path and to make decisions for myself all on my own.
Ive seen other girl my age living their dreams happily but im right here, too scared over trying new things in life. I get nervous easily and when i do, sometimes my hands get cold and freezing. haha its embarrassing. for example, i get nervous when i need to talk to people, i get nervous when i need to do something in front of the whole crowd , i even get nervous when i need to stop by a shop to buy something. i would think that the cashier would want to attack me or something. its crazy.
My anxiety is not healthy. i know i need to overcome it as soon as i can but i dont know how. i feel like im not doing good enough and i dont fulfill those expectations of people that they have on me.
Im typing this entry while listening to Lorde's Pure Heroine songs..i do think they fit perfectly at times. her songs are like my life soundtrack. if you've never listened to them, give it a try.
Back to the topic, i want to change. i dont want my life to be upside down but at the same time i am glad its not as perfect as i wish it would be. it gets challenging and i think i like it. i feel so happy when i manage to get through those bad days and things that come without me expecting them. I want to have a positive mind from now on and never let those fears get to me. i should know by now that im not weak. People who are willing to change are the strong ones, right?
No more being nervous, im just gonna go for everything that i want in life.
p/s: im making progress wohoooo
p/s/s: i dont know why im typing this post in english
p/s/s/s: click my nuffnang ads so i could cash out haha i love youuu :P
